The Importance of Friendship in a Relationship | Venus Genus

The Importance of Friendship in a Relationship

?I?m sure there are things you don?t like about me, or would want to change,? he said. I paused, looked at him and said ?No. Not one thing. I love you for who you are. What makes you. We are different but there is nothing I want to change about you. There is nothing I don?t like. You are who you are.? Realization set in. I am who I am too. He didn?t accept me for who I am. That sucked. So bad. After years, he didn?t accept me for who I was.

We were different. Very different. Everyone saw that. We knew it but it worked. For a long time. Until it didn?t. And the same attributes he at first allegedly loved about me was our undoing. He liked control and when he didn?t have control he went insane. He liked my straight forwardness, spontaneity and my carefreeness and said maybe it would benefit him more if he could be more like that.? But he wasn?t.

He didn?t communicate as ?well? as I did, wasn?t great at expressing himself and maybe that would have benefited us more. Maybe if we shared more of the same interests. Maybe if I didn?t have to convince him that this event, or exhibition or party was just for fun and one didn?t really need a particular reason to have fun, it was just something a human does when they wanted.

Maybe if I just let him relax more and just wanted to stay home then it wouldn?t have been such a big to-do. Maybe if he had opened up, not held stuff in and just done what my father said upon hearing of his reluctance to talk ?oh no, he can?t do that in a relationship.? Maybe if I would just sit my happy ass down and not want to jump on a plane whenever the wind blew east. Maybe if I weren?t so damn carefree. or spontaneous. or straightforward. Why can?t I just be?. not that? But wait. I was that since day one. I never changed. I was who I am. I am who I was. This is me. Why is it such a problem now?

Maybe if we had been friends. Best friends or a variation of it before girlfriend or boyfriend it would have made a difference. Enough of a difference to know that maybe he?s just going to this concert because I wanted to go, not something he would elect to do. Enough to know that, the guilt you feel when you do something independently is not normal. Enough to know that next time around being honest with what you will accept includes all of what the person is and none of what you hope will change.

Tags: dating, love, the importance of being friends first

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